Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I never thought I'd see the day.

Wow. What a day it's been. Nope. I never thought I'd see the day we'd have any person of color as president, let alone a Black man.

Many have been asked what this all means to them. I've been asked as well. I guess this is the best place for me to express my feelings.

I was brought to tears when I viewed President Obama being sworn in. I noticed the flow of tears were greatest whenever I exhaled. It was a feeling of relief. I felt relieved that I could finally hope for ALL our children without just talking about it but actually seeing it.

I thought about some of the ugly things I'd experienced in my past that have helped shape who I am today. I don't tell you these things because of the pain. I'm too prideful for that. I just want you to know why I'm so cranky. heh....heh...

Seriously, I remember my mother coming home from what was supposed to be a leisurely lunch w/one of her girlfriends. There was something strangely different about her demeanor that day. Mom told me she had been asked to leave from a local Tacoma private club because they "...didn't serve Blacks there." I'll never ever forget her humiliation & pain nor the fog that covered me the rest of the day. That was my mom, the center of my universe. In my mind she was in a place of honor. At age 8 I figured everyone else saw her that way as well.

I remember my highschool music teacher closing the door behind him and telling me (in private) he would not allow Black kids on the same stage w/White ones. I wasn't welcomed to be included in our elite high school jazz choir. The tears spilled from my eyes like a broken backyard facet. His eyes were cold and lifeless. They told me clearly he didn't care. He didn't give a damn about pain he inflicted on a hopeful young mind. He thought he killed my dream.

Have I ever told you about the time my 10 year old son Tyler was pushed off a dock on a Lake by a mischievous teenage White boy? Tyler was terrified. At that time he was a poor swimmer. As Tyler struggled his way back to the dock the 14 year old said to Ty, "Oh, that's right! You can only kind-of swim because you're only half white."

When a person goes through a constant barrage of negativity you have a couple choices. You can either crumble or you find a way to deal with it and do more than survive. I did a little of both.

I knew I couldn't go through life allowing others to dictate my mood. And I haven't. But I must admit I NEVER thought I'd live to see today.

For those who know me well they understand I don't agree with the President on several issues but my heart is moved as I realize we live in a multi-cultural country that is willing and able to vote for a person judging by them by content of his character and not the color of his skin.

You go, America. You go.


1 comment:

julie said...

I was truly moved by your "I never thought I'd see the day."
I think you should send it to the TNT Letter Box.
I admire you and love your Knitting Shop too!
Julie Gunderson